we live in a world where pizza gets to your house before the police.
That’s because the pizza guy has consequences if his job is done incorrectly.
but not by the pizza guy
Man okay when I got my wisdom teeth out it was a fucking experience. Before the surgery wasn’t too interesting but as soon as I woke up I saw the nurse next to me and was all like “hey… i think… i died… and now I’m in a parallel universe… and i gotta go back to my house and kill…
I mean I don’t personally know Taylor Swift but I trust her with my life.
Me: *walks into book store*
Me: *buys entire store*
fun statistics for adults!
“when I was a kid, I had no help with college tuition, I was hardworking and paid it all myself”
-Annual tuition for Yale, 1970: $2,550
-Annual tuition for Yale, 2014: $45,800
-Minimum Wage, 1970: $1.45
-Minimum Wage, 2014: $7.25
-Daily hours at minimum wage needed to pay for tuition in 1970: 4.8
-Daily hours at minimum wage needed to pay for tuition in 2014: 17.3
*heavy breathing* we have hte bacon
dennys what the fuck